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Understanding the Infertility Struggle

I spent some time focusing on my fertility issues and the loss of identity of ever being a biological mom in “He’s Not on the Cross” and was, today, thinking about those very topics again. At my age, it makes sense that my Facebook newsfeed sees a myriad of creative pregnancy and birth announcements, and it causes me think back to when I saw all the engagement and wedding announcements while I remained single. But this is somehow…worse.


As most of you know, the majority of people, even extremely good friends, will call you (or text you) with a pregnancy announcement and expect excitement. I mean, why shouldn’t they? They are excited, rightly so, and, as their friend, you ought to be, as well. Plus, a baby on the way is an exciting thing, in general! And you are excited, but…


“I know you’re happy for me, but I want to be sensitive to your feelings. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, especially every time you hear about someone’s new pregnancy. So while I’m happy you’re excited for me, I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t care about you or what you’re going through. Are you ok?”


Those words—you long to hear them.


What’s amazing to me is that I have heard them. I have one friend who, with all three of her pregnancies, has been amazing regarding my feelings, which makes it much easier to be genuinely happy for her.


It’s not that I wouldn’t be happy anyway: this is my best friend we’re talking about! But the fact that she recognizes that I’m not always going to be super cheery about someone’s pregnancy because it hurts to think about it is amazing to me. That she takes the time to think about how I’m feeling, even though she’s obviously extremely excited, will never cease to amaze me.



Alyssa is an author trying to break into the field, but willing to go where God wants her to with her writing. She writes Young Adult Christian novels in an effort to bring the truth back into the lives of young people in which it is often so severely lacking.

She has overcome 13 brain surgeries, 4 spinal cord surgeries, and countless others since 2009 alone, and battles two organic brain issues, a traumatic brain injury (TBI), Bipolar II, two different anxiety disorders, and more mental illnesses. Her goal is to reach others with the Gospel and what God’s taught her through her ailments.

Alyssa lives in Central Florida with her husband, part-time daughter (a blessing that came with marriage!), and three fur babies.

Check out Alyssa’s blog:

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2 thoughts on “Understanding the Infertility Struggle

  1. Wow! This is real talk. I have never thought about how someone who endured a painful even such as this could feel when others announce their pregnancy. Moving forward, I think this will help me be sensitive to others in a lot of other scenarios.

    My vacations, gifts, opportunities and such could affect someone I care about who may not have those things. I know it’s not the same, but this post prompted me to be more sensitive with my victories. Sure my friends love my joys, but I’m going to be more sensitive.

    Back when I was a struggling single mom, I remember I would sometimes feel a little down when people experienced the things I wished I could experience. I was still happy for them, but it hurt a little.

    This blog post reminded me of that and to be wise and considerate to my friends about my experiences now. I hope that makes sense.

    1. I’m so sorry for the late reply! This is so sweet and awesome to hear (i.e. read), though! I love how you took it into other areas of blessings and victories, as well. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Sometimes knowing God’s touched even just one through my writing is enough to keep to fighting.

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